Finding Balance
What a whirlwind producing our company’s first show was! On opening night, when the lights came up to reveal everyone in the audience, I remember thinking “Hey, maybe we are going to be okay.” The journey was not easy by any means. Navigating starting a business within the first year of marriage was no easy task. I can’t imagine having a more gracious and giving partner. We are learning everyday how to best navigate running a business together. How do we maintain a successful business while still dedicating enough time to work on our relationship? I think it is only something that we will get better at but the learning curve is steep. Especially for me.
I tend to get “tunnel vision” while working on a project. I have always been very passionate about what I get to do. Sometimes it just consumes my mind. Almost like an addiction. How do I effectively stage this scene? Or what should be the next show we work on? I know that having a passion for what you do is not a shortcoming… however, not being able to turn that side of yourself off is. I never anticipated the amount of mental gymnastics I would have to do to make sure that my mind isn’t working all the time. I hate it when I realize that I have been sitting with my wife for 30 minutes, having time with just us (which is rare), and I realize that I have been working instead of truly listening. What is the balance, and where do I find it? How do I become more present in the moment? I guess when you spend so long in imaginary worlds that you create, it’s hard to remind yourself to focus on the real one every once in awhile.
Our timeline since Greater Tuna has been non stop. It is great to be blessed with being busy, I couldn’t be happier about it. As an artist or a business owner it is hard to complain about work or the volume of work you have to do. I think it is bred in us to feel like we should be thankful for the opportunity to make a living this way. I used to think that it was okay for me to work long hours for little to no pay. My favorite line when starting out was “This will be great exposure for you as an artist.” Which translates into, “We need you to do this but we aren't paying you. You’re welcome.” I don’t know why people think that a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree is worth any less than any other degree. I promise you that student loan bill shows up just like everyone else’s. Just because you believe in what you are doing doesn’t mean that the world has a free pass to treat you differently. Work can still be hard. There will be days that you don’t want to do it, or even like to do it. That. Is. Okay. As artists, we are told so often that we are different. Our differences make us stand out from everyone else. Truthfully, artists are just like everyone else. We believe in what we are doing, and though we may feel different from everyone else-it isn’t true. We all experience the same difficulties with juggling family and work. The only true difference is that we make a living looking deep into the soul of life and putting what we find on display for others to see and hopefully feel something.
I'm happy to report that through this process I have never felt closer to my partner. Lexie has jumped on board with this dream that I had and made it her own. I don’t know how it is possible to have been given such an amazing gift. The people in our company and my wife have taught me how to be a better person, through the giving of time and so much patience. We are so lucky to be working with people who truly believe in what we are doing and its benefits to our community. It really shows us just how much we needed to do this. Not just for us but others as well.
Short plug - A Christmas Carol is doing great! We just finished blocking last week! The show looks and feels beautiful. Can’t wait for everyone to hear these beautiful carols and see the great work our actors are doing. Until next time.